Scott and I spoke in our old ward on Mother's Day. We're speaking in our new ward tomorrow. While I might attribute the timing to our move (it seems pretty common to ask people moving out or in to speak), the fact that the topics are so closely related causes me to think its more than that. Since, this is a journal of sorts, and I'm trying to include more of my 'inner thoughts' into these Olson chronicles, I've decided to post my talk here (minus the introduction). Its pretty long (for a blog-post), I was assigned to speak for 12-15 minutes on "The Role of Mothers in Encouraging and Nurturing the Testimonies of Children". I basically took my first talk (assigned on Alma 56:44-48) and cut out some things and developed some ideas further. The story of Helaman's stripling warriors has become very dear to me. I know that the principles taught in that scriptural account apply to mothering daughters as well as sons. Reading and thinking about the mothers of the stripling warriors reminds me of my responsibility to all my children to guide them properly. Eden has such a strong will, I hope I can help her to focus it in the right direction as she grows.
Sacrament Meeting
June 27, 2010
I was asked to speak on the role of mothers in developing and nurturing the testimonies of children. As a mother of three, I have learned that I am not an expert on the subject of motherhood. So, I will quote teachings from scripture and from current church leaders on the subject. They say it so much better than I could.
Literal mothers are not the only women who can fill this responsibility. I am so grateful for ALL the women in my life who have helped me along my way. Julie B. Beck, general president of the Relief Society, spoke about women with a “mother heart”. She said:
In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life, but they know that “all things must come to pass in their time” and that they “are laying the foundation of a great work” (D&C 64:32–33)…. What is a mother heart and how is one acquired? We learn about some of those qualities in the scriptures. To paraphrase Proverbs: “Who can find a … woman [with a mother heart]? for her price is far above rubies. … She … worketh willingly with her hands. … With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. … She stretcheth out her hand to the poor. … Strength and honour are her clothing. … She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness” (Prov. 31:10, 13, 16, 20, 25–27). A woman with a mother heart has a testimony of the restored gospel, and she teaches the principles of the gospel without equivocation. She is keeping sacred covenants made in holy temples. Her talents and skills are shared unselfishly. She gains as much education as her circumstances will allow, improving her mind and spirit with the desire to teach what she learns to the generations who follow her.
When I first began thinking about this topic, I came up with the following list of basic things we do to encourage and nurture our children’s testimonies. It’s only a start:
-pray as a family and teach our children to pray
-read scriptures as a family. Now that Eden is reading and Andrew is learning to read, I occasionally find them reading their scriptures on their own.
-attend our church meetings. This is not always as easy as it sounds. Especially when you have a pre-nursery age noise-maker. Our youngest, Jake does go to nursery now, so we’re no longer in that stage, but I’ve been there. There have been times (usually when Scott is gone) that I have wondered why I bother. I struggle with restless kids, and spend most of the 3-hour block in the hall with a cranky, sleep-deprived toddler who really wants to go home. And ALWAYS the first thing that comes to my mind when I have these doubts is that my children need to be here, to attend primary, and most importantly, they need to know that attending church is important to me- important enough that we do it even when Daddy can’t be with us.
-pay our tithing and help the kids pay tithing when they receive money
-FHE lessons are a great time to bear testimony of specific gospel principles
I am grateful to my mother for teaching me, by her example, the importance of these basic practices. I strive to set the same example for my own children.
The story of Helamans’s stripling warriors shows how powerful a mothers influence is in the testimonies of her children. I found 3 places where Helaman describes the amazing faith of these young men (and faith is testimony in action), and 2 of them credit their mothers.
In Alma 56:47-48:
47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the aliberty of their bfathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their cmothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their amothers, saying: We bdo not doubt our mothers knew it.
Alma 57:21, 27
21 Yea, and they did aobey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their bmothers had taught them.
27 Now this was the afaith of these of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are bfirm, and they do put their trust in God continually.
Alma 58:40
40 But behold, they have received many wounds; nevertheless they astand fast in that bliberty wherewith God has made them free; and they are strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day; yea, they do observe to keep his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments continually; and their faith is strong in the prophecies concerning that which is to come.
Growing up, I knew my parents had a testimony. They didn’t verbalize it often, but they lived it. It is said, “Actions speak louder than words.” I don’t mean to say that it is not important for a mother to verbally share her testimony, but I believe that setting an example leaves a stronger impression. I feel like Helaman’s young warriors when they said, “We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” I hope that my children will have that same firmness when they think of me.
In our home in South Dakota, I had a quote on my mirror from D&C 64:33: “Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work.” It was a vinyl cut-out and although I tried to remove it carefully, so I could transfer it to our new home, it didn’t survive. I hope to replace it soon. This quote serves as a reminder and a booster at times when I wonder if I’m doing the right things for my children, or when I doubt my influence as their mother. The quote was given to me by my visiting teachers, and their message came from Elder Bednar’s talk in the October 2009 General Conference, entitled “More Diligent and Concerned at Home”. He related the following about their family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening experiences:
…Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.
Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.
…The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.
….our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes.
In light of Elder Bednar’s words, it occurred to me that maybe, at times, the future stripling warriors were rowdy and boisterous and naughty, like my children sometimes are. Maybe it wasn’t all peaches and roses to be the mother of a future stripling warrior. Maybe these mothers’ success had a lot to do with their consistency.
Elder Bednar shared 3 tips for improving our families in that same Conference address. While his talk was addressed to parents and families together, each of these principles can be applied to motherhood specifically.
1) Express Love- and Show It; who gives more hugs, kisses and other nurturing, loving gestures than a mother?
2) Bear Testimony- and Live It; a mother is usually the first teacher a child has, we are in a prime position to bear testimony to our children and teach gospel principles to our children by our example.
3) Be Consistent; this is where D&C 64:33 comes in. “Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work.”
I doubt those mothers knew their sons would become valiant, heroic warriors at such a young age. But they did not grow “weary in well-doing” and neither can we. We know our children will face adversity and temptation in the world and must do all we can to arm them and prepare them to meet their battles and conquer them.
In closing, I’d like to share the following quote from president Joseph F. Smith:
….sisters, you do not know how far your influence extends. A mother that is successful in raising a good boy, or girl, to imitate her example and to follow her precepts through life, sows the seeds of virtue, honor and integrity and of righteousness in their hearts that will be felt through all their career in life; and wherever that boy or girl goes, as man or woman, in whatever society they mingle, the good effects of the example of that mother upon them will be felt; and it will never die, because it will extend from them to their children from generation to generation.
I am grateful for my mother, who taught me by instruction and by example, most of things that make me who I am today. I know our Heavenly Father loves us, I know my Savior lives. I know we can be guided in our mothering efforts by the promptings and whisperings of the Holy Ghost. We truly are “laying the foundation of a great work.”
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
